help me figure out the rest of my life

still on the fence about what i want to do next year.

do i want to stay at King’s for another year, deepen the connections i’ve made, feel solid in my work, etc.?

do i want to move on to another international school in Central or South America, work on my Spanish, learn a new city and see how it’s like and different than King’s?

… or do i want to move ‘back home’ to Somerville and Cambridge, get a different teaching gig or find a teaching-coaching/consulting situation and pick up where i left off socially, artistically, etc.?

i’ve felt very committed to each possibility at times over the last few weeks. the warring impulses of romanticism and pragmatism are very real. sometimes i’m too aware of the story that i’m crafting: what would be the most interesting thing to do next? what kind of person do i want to be? how would the next step i take shape this?

do i want to be the kind of person who gallivants about the world, a couple of years here, a couple of years there, dipping into various cultures, subtly shaping school communities but not staying any place to leave a real impact?

do i want to stay in one place and ‘put down roots’, building on what i already have there, being much more satisfied in my personal life but still stretching professionally?

i have real concerns about continuing to be a visitor, a stranger, an alien- though fascinating, it is often a lonely thing to be.

but i have also felt so satisfied to be such a long-term visitor, to become easily adjusted to a different world’s physical, social and aesthetic geographies. it has been thrilling and deeply satisfying to learn so much. and also, i’m proud of having done it.

so should i keep going in the international teaching track? return to boston and find a next step up to do?

where can i learn more?

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One thought on “help me figure out the rest of my life

  1. Story of my life. As I’m sure you’ve considered- not living in a deeply connected community can be sad. It’s nice to have a place to go back to, but it’s never the same as you left it. Not better or worse. I miss the deep home experience and aspire to it with every life decision I make. But obviously I actually choose to move, apparently every couple of years. With some sad parts but no regrets! Honesty whatever you do will work out brilliantly, and there’s always time to make a deep home.

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